Monday, October 4, 2010

Conflation of Spaces

The Five Colour City article came out Thursday. It's mostly as I wrote it. I haven't been to FCC much in a long time. The fireworks going off in the middle of the streets; the bartenders hitting on you, we're sure, just to get you to buy more drinks; all the doors you've never been through—you can wander and will if you're new here, if you don't believe that this is the shady part of town, or, fuck, maybe that's why you'll go. FCC's a good place to hide out, as I propose in the article. Some of the bars in FCC seem unnecessarily large, dark spaces meant to be cuddled into. But and so, unpeopled, they are lonely places to be seen over the shoulders of those slinging beers. However, it's not unusual for me to sit in the school without anybody else in the building. Even now I'm sitting in the basement, the whole beautiful building above me, unstudented, unteachered. I go up into the classrooms and gesture with the lights off as though I were teaching, as though I were audienced. It should feel weirder. Certainly, drinking beer in a minimally occupied business feels weird, especially if on other nights, nights when the place is packed, you sit in a far-away-from-the-bar seat and try to picture again what it would be like for the place to be empty. What you notice is the strobing lights hitting a corner you never considered before. When I teach, I am conscious of walls. In both places, I'm thinking about what words to form next. At every word, now delivered more slowly, I wonder what other words I need to teach, learn.

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